15 Jun.
Today's Topic: Future Website Plans
Today marks the second anniversary of this website (I am prancing around and throwing confetti yayayay). So in honour of this incredibly grand occasion, I figured I would talk about some future website plans I’ve been thunking.
Getting some minor things out of the way, some of my pages are probably due for an update. My media log pages in particular, I keep going back-and-forth on whether I want to update the layout or not. Something about it leaves me unsatisfied, but I’ll keep the current layout for now until I get sick of it. There’s also a possibility that I might do a Q&A soon. The problem is that I like being mysterious and private, but also doing a Q&A seems really fun. I’m also secretly worried that I'd get zero responses, which would be embarrassing as hell ;w; (TLDR: I am an overthinker)
In regards to content, I’ve really wanted to write more manga recs but laziness pervades me. To be fair, I struggle to properly articulate why I like certain things without my brain failing and going “uhh it’s good ig.” So these manga recs have felt strangely difficult for me to write, my thoughts are just too uncommunicable sometimes because it’s pure emotion driving me. I’m not a yapper. I’m a feeler. (what the fuck am I saying). But here’s a sneak peak at what I’m planning to eventually do: Gothic Victorian aesthetic, wholesome slice of life with cool settings, hauntings, toxic yuri, one volume recs. Additionally, I’m thinking about adding a mini-log page, which would basically give my short thoughts on whatever I’m currently reading/watching/playing. Less polished than my media logs, might even just be some bullet points. I’ve already created a layout for the page, but I might scrap it because it’s kinda meh. (TLDR: I am an overthinker part 2)
Despite my writing struggles, I actually have a lot of ideas for longer write-ups. My current thought dump page doesn’t lend itself too well to long-form content, so I’d probably have to make a new page for this. And that’s if I even end up writing this shit in the first place (banging my head against a wall). My main idea is doing mangaka “deep dives.” In which I go over a mangaka’s body of works, talk about my personal opinions, and touch on the mangaka themselves. Hopefully, this doesn’t end up being a glorified wikipedia page, but who knows. There’s a few mangaka in particular that I want to discuss: Toume Kei, Fujiwara Kaoru, Daisuke Igarashi, Nagabe, Panpanya, and maybe Shuzo Oshimi. However, I’d need to read more of all these mangaka’s works before I can really formulate something and write a “deep dive.” This would take a lot of time though, and given my burnt out state, I have no idea if this will ever come to fruition.
Outside of that, there’s two other long form write-ups I’ve been cooking (meaning I thought about it incoherently in my brain). The first is metamorphosis in animanga. I’m not sure if I’d actually be doing media analysis or simply talking about how the concept/theme of metamorphosis has been used in certain animanga, but it might just bleed into metamorphosis and body horror. Definitely planning to include Houseki no Kuni and Haibane Renmei though. My other idea is “Yanderes: Obsession, Devotion, and Love.” Once again, not certain of the exact angle I’d take with this topic, but there’s something about the intersection of horror and romance along with twisted portrayals of love. There’s also a chance for me to just talk about why I even like yanderes in the first place.
To wrap it up: thanks for reading all of this. site updates have been slow recently and my passion has waned, but I shan't abandon this place.
8 Mar.
Today's Topic: Bucket List (before i turn 30)
Sometimes I wish I was already thirty years old and had my shit together. Welp, between now and thirty I've got to pass the time somehow.
- Graduate→ get my bachelor’s degree :0
- Get my master’s degree (bonus points if I study abroad for it)
- Get my driver’s license (I’m incredibly behind on this, I know)
- Change my last name
- Expand my cooking repertoire, so I can cook at least 20 dishes easily
- Try playing D&D
- Drink hard liquor
- Get a job in museum work and/or internship
- Go stargazing
- Visit at least 5 other countries
- Move to another country
- Try dying my hair for a bit (any color is fine)
- Get my ears pierced
- Go on a life changing walk late at night (this will fix me)
- Wander around one day
- Try having one of those pinterest aesthetic cakes for my birthday
- Get into a physical fight
- See a live opera
- See a ballet
- MOOMIN CAFE
- Expand my manga collection to a whole bookshelf
- Have a small figurine collection
- Get my ACNH island to 5 stars
21 Feb.
Today's Topic: Late Night Fantasies
To be honest I don’t really know what I’m going to do with myself. I’m trying to make something out of nothing. Or perhaps I’m digging my own grave. Or maybe (more accurately) I’m on da laptop laying in bed and doing jack shit.
Ever since December I’ve been having thoughts of going to the park late at night and watching the snow fall. Winter messes with my head in such a lovely way. My nights are spent with dread. I am aching. I’ve thought of taking the train and heading to somewhere I’ve never been, getting terribly lost, and then I’d wander and wander until the sun rose again. Or in some of my imaginations, I’d head to the beach while it snows and let the waves crash against my legs. It would be freezing cold and insane. But I can't deny that the snow and the ocean and the night have always been a perfect companion for the sentimental. And that's the embarassing thing, these dreams feel so juvenile and desperate. Like someone watched a coming of age movie and is now trying to replicate them but without any of the finesse.I wrote once, frantically, that I needed to die in a foreign country surrounded by something beautiful. How stupid and romantic. Unfortunately, those words describe me completely. Those days when I rest my head against the library desk, watching the sunlight stream through the window. When I haven’t done any work at all and my mind keeps drifting elsewhere. I’d close my eyes and imagine getting a fever so high I wouldn’t have to do anything anymore. In those moments, winter is surprisingly warm.
I don’t quite know where I’m going with all this (do these even count as hopes and dreams??). My thoughts have been all over the place recently, I wrote like two other entries for this page but ended up scrapping them. I’m overly self-conscious about everything I write and all my attempts at vulnerability sound so clumsy and whiny to me. But, I updated the layout so yay(?) I’m not completely satisfied with it yet, I feel like something is missing. Oh well, in the morning I’ll brew some tea and breathe...
Anyways, look at my progress in HATSUNE MIKU: PROJECT DIVA MEGA MIX+
hell yea
