Me, You, and Frank

This movie is a decently unsettling slow burn. The horror doesn’t really pick up until the last quarter. For most of the movie you have to sit through awkward flirting, questionable decisions, and oh yeah, there’s a guy in a fucking dog suit.

It starts off with a budding relationship between Christian and Sigrid. They meet through tinder and really hit it off, but there’s a small fact that changes things drastically. Christian lives with a guy called Frank who basically acts like a dog 24/7. He wears a dog suit, eats out of a dog bowl, never speaks, and you get the gist of it. Sigrid is put off by this at first, but she goes ahead with the relationship anyways because she wants to be understanding (also helps that Christian is a millionare heir). After all, while it’s a bit strange, Frank isn’t hurting anyone or anything, so sure why not.

Everything is going fine. Just ignore the menacing shots of Frank sitting in the corner. The movie sets you up to be suspicious of this whole ordeal. The question of "what’s really going on" remains burning throughout. And no, it’s not a fetish thing. I was honestly worried that this movie was going to end up unintentionally demonizing people with pet-play fetishes, but uhhhh... actually I can’t explain the twist without spoilers so here we go...

While the camera likes to point fingers at Frank, the audience also realizes that Christian is suspicious as hell. At some point, Christian convinces Sigrid to go on a vacation to his secluded cabin together (and with Frank, of course). He also takes her phone away, so they can become closer or something. While Christian is busy being a walking red flag (and I’m begging Sigrid to get out of there), the other shoe finally drops.

In a brief moment, when Sigrid and Frank are left alone together, Frank finally speaks and the horror really comes rushing in. Frank says that they need to run away because Christian is a psycho (that’s what I’ve been sayingg). Sigrid spends the next part of the movie internally panicking, nervous, and freaking out. After all, this recontextualizes their whole relationship. If Frank is a captive forced to act like a dog, then who knows what the hell Christian is planning for Sigrid. Genuinely, I was getting tense as well because Sigrid’s actor really sells it. This anxiety and fear while trying to act normal, as if she doesn’t suspect anything. It’s nerve wracking.

When it comes to the ending, it’s just frustrating how close they were to escaping. If Sigrid just looked behind her or I dunno, thwacked Christian TWICE NOT ONCE in the head then they could’ve made it out. But I feel like the directors just wanted to have a disturbing, creepy ending.

I wish they gave more hints as to why Christian is doing all this. Why did he reach out to Sigrid in the first place (I doubt he genuinely liked her)? Why is he so obsessed with dogs? My guess is something to do with control. He counts his calories (which Sigrid jokingly called him a control freak for), and also that time he "jokingly" yelled at her for putting on the bed sheets wrong. When he’s punishing Frank, it's clear that the reason he’s so angry is because Frank disobeyed him. Christian wants complete authority and control, to the point that he treats others as dogs (literally).

Anyways, the moral of the story is don’t trust millionaire heirs you’ve known for 4 days and met on tinder.

Barbie in a Christmas Carol

Out of all the Barbie movies I watched as a kid, this one was probably my favorite. Or at the very least, it’s the one that I rewatched the most for some reason.

I haven’t experienced genuine nostalgia in a while, so when I decided to watch this for funsies it felt like suddenly getting hit by a truck (non-isekai edition). Honestly, it was really surprising that I managed to remember a decent amount of the movie. There are phrases stuck in my head to this day that I didn’t realize came from this movie. ‘TEa aNd CRuMPets’ likes to rotate in my brain randomly.

What I didn’t remember was how bad the animation was. It wasn’t horrible per say, but nothing close to the smooth,polished animation from my blurred memories. The Spirit of Past was also really annoying and obnoxious, which I didn’t remember at all. Her high-energy attitude and constant laughing scare me. But not to worry, the main character, Catherine, was really fun. She’s bratty, haughty, and self-absorbed, but of course, she gets better at the end. I can’t remember if I liked her as a kid (probably did tbh because my tastes haven’t changed dramatically), but oh well, at least I know that nostalgia goes crazy.

The Taking of Deborah Logan

When I first learned about Alzheimer’s disease as a small child, I cried. The fact that cherished memories and beloved family members can be taken away so easily made me incredibly sad. And in this movie’s case, the disease takes that and more– oh wait nvm, there’s a goddamn possession going on. Alzheimer’s still really sucks though.

A student sets out to film a documentary for her PhD thesis project on Alzheimer’s. Her subject: An old lady named Deborah Logan. However, throughout the course of her supposed-to-be-documentary, it becomes clear that something sinister is taking place. Or more like something is taking the place of Deborah.

The suspense in the beginning is set up quite well; constantly making you question whether this is really Alzheimer’s or something else. These were my favorite parts of the movie, just because of how grounded it feels. The horror is tinged with a bit of sadness. I couldn’t help but feel bad for Deborah and her daughter, with their tense relationship and financial troubles. There’s a scene early into the movie, when they’re wiping the blood from Deborah’s hands. She’s in such a haze as she slowly recounts that Sarah (her daughter) doesn’t like pedicures. It’s weirdly touching that this small fact is what she remembers and thinks about as she gazes at her bloodied hands. But also her increasingly odd behavior had me thinking ‘there’s no way you can medically explain this (people don’t throw up fucking snakes?!)… pls someone just call an exorcist or something’.

Also, the brief child-eating scene looked insanely good. I don’t know if it was practical or special effects, but regardless it was a feast for the eyes (haha).

The Boy and the Heron

To no one’s surprise, the new Miyazaki movie is great. I don’t think it’s a magnum opus work (as I’ve heard some refer to it), but it undeniably has the feel and quality of a Ghibli film. Whimsical, surreal, and an experience that just can’t be replicated anywhere else.

This movie is dripping with style– the animation is gorgeous and it’s complete eye candy. The Ghibli-style vivid imagery was on complete display here, with some references to his past works if you look closely. Compared to his previous movies, this one headed in a far more surreal and metaphorical direction. It’s less straightforward and leaves a lot open to interpretation. I had a “just roll with it” attitude as more and more stuff happened. Not a lot of the concepts are super explained, which left me halfway between being satisfied but also wishing the world was more developed. It feels like we just got a small glance at something beautiful and expansive.

Anyways, younger Kiriko is sick as hell. Coolest character. Also this is only tangentially related, but my favorite Ghibli film is either Castle in the Sky or Porco Rosso :3

Abigail

A group of criminals kidnap a little girl for ransom but it goes terribly wrong (not clickbait!!)... while I’m just memeing this is probably an actual youtube title for one of those movie recap channels tbh.

Anyways, I don’t have too many thoughts on the movie, so I’ll keep this simple. To sum up my experience in a sentence: There’s blood everywhere and I’m having a fun time . Ballerina vampire and horror comedy make a delightful combo. The movie isn’t that serious, it knows you’re just there for some blood and laughs. And I can respect that.

The set design was super cool. Almost all of the film takes place in an old mansion, which looked fantastic. It reminded me of old survival horror games, especially with some of the shots. I also appreciated the attention to detail on the set. Most of the vampire lore isn’t really explained, but if you look at the surroundings you can extrapolate some things. There’s the paintings and statue of a little girl and some dude (dracula, I assume lol). Also, the dragons were a nice detail. They showed up as an insignia on the front door gate and in the library, plus there were dragons depicted in some of the paintings. My guess is because of Vlad Dracula’s (aka Vlad the Impaler) connection to dragons. His father was a member of ‘The Order of the Dragon’ which is where he got the moniker ‘Dracul’ which he passed onto his son. I got this info from wikipedia btw, so take what I’m saying with a grain of salt. But just compare this movie shot to Elizabeth Bathory’s coat of arms (which was inspired by the Order of the Dragon). And Bathory sort of has connections to vampires as well because of her whole bathing in the blood of young girls thing.

While it’s not the exact same, the dragon looks pretty similar imo. I could also be wrong and maybe the set designers just included dragons because they’re cool. But enough with this tangent, it’s honestly not important to the movie, just something I noticed. Basically, the movie was good.

The Lighthouse

thoughts coming soon!